Family Lines - Welcome to my blog!

Chocolate Heals - I knew it!

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:03:00 +0000

Eating Dark Chocolate May Lower Stress Hormones, Researchers Say
By Jennifer Warner ~WebMD Health News

WebMD ~ so it must be true :)

Nov. 13, 2009 -- Those stress-induced chocolate cravings may be justified after all. A new study shows that eating dark chocolate may lower levels of stress hormones in people feeling stressed out.

Researchers found that eating the equivalent of one average-sized dark chocolate candy bar (1.4 ounces) each day for two weeks reduced levels of the stress hormone cortisol as well as the “fight-or-flight” hormones known as catecholamines in highly stressed people.

The findings add to a growing number of recently discovered potential health benefits of dark chocolate. For example, cocoa has been found to be rich in a class of antioxidants called flavonoids, which have been linked to a number of health benefits.

Researchers are also investigating other compounds in dark chocolate that may offer other health benefits, such as improved insulin sensitivity, reduced blood pressure, and improved mood.

My favorite darks: Lindor Truffles by Lindt, Dove Dark Chocolate with Almonds

Fighting, Respecting, Loving

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:11:00 +0000

Good article about handling differences in marriage. The link probably won't last long. Read it at DesNews.com

It's beginning to look a lot like....

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:46:00 +0000

Driving home from the hospital tonight was breathtaking.
It was even nice weather - not freezing cold, but the little boys were home sick with colds, I still have a cold and I decided it would not work to see the lights tonight. I hope the nice weather lasts a while longer so we'll get another chance.
The trees lining the conference center were beautiful too.

Construction Zone

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:18:00 +0000

Progress is not as fast as Jenn and Fred had hoped but it's coming.

Happy Birthday, Chris!

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 16:57:00 +0000

It's really tomorrow in the States, but he's in Japan where tonight will be tomorrow so I'm actually sending greetings on time - if that makes any sense...

Hope he has a good one and that this next year brings him and ALL his family safely home. Praying for an economy turnaround that will allow this dream to come true.

My newest grandson

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:58:00 +0000

Aubrey and Max
Max had a little setback

He's eating, but his oxygen sats dipped so they had to put him back on O2 and he got the feeding tube again because he is still losing weight; not gaining as he should. We are sad because we were optimistic that he was just moving in the right direction. The severe restrictions in the hospital (due to H1N1 scare) prevent the kids from coming beyond the cafeteria. They have seen Aubrey briefly in there but haven't seen the baby and it's all kind of surreal for everyone right now. Please keep the prayers coming!

Black Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:04:00 +0000

I don't go shopping on Black Friday - even though there are some great deals. I do love shopping online and there are deals to be found here too.

Gotta love these cool electronics. We live in such a great time when these things are abundant and almost affordable!
Netgear Wireless Router $34.99 & shipping deals too! I love having this so we can roam with laptops in my house. Buy.com

$16.95 8 GB Kingston Data Traveler Flash Drive
at buy.com

Digital Blue Girl Caribeener VGA Camera Buy.com has it for $9.99 and it may be eligible for free shipping (limit 5)

Disney 512MB Mix Stick MP3/WMV Player This was a good deal at $9.99; Now Buy.com has it for $7.99 (limit 5 and may qualify for free shipping)

RELIGION AND POLITICS....

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:32:00 +0000

Talking about religion isn't so taboo anymore, and may actually be the solution to otherwise unsolvable global problems, two authorities said this month.

Krista Tippett, host of "Speaking of Faith," which airs on NPR, spoke at the Salt Lake City Library Nov. 10 about the increasing popularity of religious conversations.

And Douglas Johnston, president of the International Center for Religion and Diplomacy, spoke at Brigham Young University last week about how those religious conversations are often the answer to identity-based conflicts, such as ethnic disputes, religious hostilities and tribal warfare around the world.

"The very complexity of our age is driving people back to the enduring repositories of ethical and spiritual thinking," Tippett said.

Often, the important questions, such as finding meaning in life and death or understanding good and evil can't be addressed by law, politics or economics. Religion, Tippett said, teaches mankind "what matters in life and in death, how to love and how to give service to one another." (Deseret News, November 22, 2009 - Sarah Israelsen-Hartley and Wendy Leonard)

Happy Thanksgiving!

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 14:33:00 +0000

Aubrey and Steve with their two boys - they got away from the hospital for a couple of hours - wish Max was here!
We celebrated Ashlie's birthday along with Thanksgiving
Noah, Krista and the spread.
Sandy, Justin, Krista, Ken, my dad (Bill)
Rob, Jon, Natalie, Jenn, Fred
Four generations - Justin, Me, my dad and Kenlee. Justin and Krista surprised me with having my dad come. I rarely get to see him so it was a really nice surprise.
Four generations - Nat, her kids, me, my dad
The little boys and me
Rob and his boys
Nat's plotting Black Friday's route - this is a Thanksgiving tradition for sure.

I am thankful to have God in my life and I have no doubt that our freedom is a direct result of our faith in God. If we stop believing and allow the ungodly to take that which is precious from us, this country will not be what the founding fathers dreamed and sacrificed for in our behalf. And all who have sacrificed their lives for the freedom of future generations will cry from their thrones in heaven. How ungrateful we would be to lose what they held so dear and were willing to die for. I pray that we will never cease to thank God for our freedom and for the opportunity to praise and acknowledge His hand in our lives. God Bless America!

Josh at the camera

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 03:45:00 +0000

I've been watching Josh (and Asher) while Aubrey has been in the hospital. He wanted to try out my camera and said he wanted a picture of me with my computer, so here it is.

Phantom Illness

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:06:00 +0000

Symptoms of Hypochondria

People with hypochondria are catastrophizers, says Brian A. Fallon, MD, an associate professor of clinical psychiatry at New York State Psychiatric Institute. The disorder can take many forms. Some people become anxious or depressed, and others become obsessed with learning everything they can about symptoms and illnesses. Some go from doctor to doctor, hoping to find a diagnosis or confirmation of their fears, while others are afraid to seek treatment at all. With the latter, it's often a worried spouse, like Serrano, or a family doctor who encourages them to get psychiatric help.

Hypochondria seems to be a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and it might be caused by an imbalance of serotonin, a mood stabilizer, or other chemicals in the brain. There's no cure, but cognitive behavioral therapy, antidepressant medications, or a combination of the two help some people.

Hypochondria can be just as hard on a partner. "It can lead to great strain in the relationship to have the repetitive need for reassurance driving all interactions," Fallon says.

Dealing With a Spouse With Hypochondria

For the spouse of someone with hypochondria, canceled vacations, 24-hour caretaking, the cycle of frustration and guilt for not being supportive enough, and worrying that you might be overlooking a serious illness all take their toll.

Seranno finally laid down the law and made her husband see a doctor, who put him on medication used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder. While it's still an almost nightly battle to get him to take his pills, he's become a happier person. "As his wife, I feel as though it's my responsibility to help him live the best life possible," Serrano says, "even if that means a little tough love from time to time. You do what you can to help them."

Do you think your beloved has hypochondria? If so, take these four steps:

Check up. First, get your spouse to see a doctor you trust, says Fallon. Seeking a second opinion is fine, but if both doctors agree there's nothing physically wrong, suggest a visit to a psychiatrist.

Be caring but firm. Carla Cantor, author of Phantom Illness: Shattering the Myth of Hypochondria, recommends helping your spouse tie symptoms to stress, or emotional upheavals.

Don't dwell on illness. Encourage your spouse to verbalize fears about health, but don't join in, Cantor advises. If you feel yourself getting anxious, gently change the subject.

Consider couples therapy. While cognitive behavioral therapy can help the person with hypochondria, examining how the disorder affects your relationship will help you work together to battle it. (WebMD)

He has a name now

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:53:00 +0000

Jon caught this special moment - mom, dad and Max Emery.

New Grandson - Grandchild # 17!

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:54:00 +0000

Aubrey and Steve's baby decided to make an early entrance late Thursday night. Because he is about 5 or 6 weeks premature, he is having to stay in the special care nursery with some oxygen, antibiotics, bililights and feeding tubes. He weighed 6 lbs. 2 oz and was 19 3/4 inches long. They're still finalizing the name. Stay tuned...
Because he was sick, it was 24 hours before Aubrey was able to hold him. She was very excited!

Hidden Energy Guzzlers

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:27:00 +0000

Check out this suggestion from msn: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/34011801#34011801 . We can all use a little help with our utility bills.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:01:00 +0000

"Cowardice asks the question - is it safe? Expediency asks the question - is it politic? Vanity asks the question - is it popular? But conscience asks the question - is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right.": ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Stress = Fat

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:14:00 +0000

I'm a stress eater. So, you know what that means. I hate it!

On a more pleasant note...

According to new estimates, Utah's overall poverty rate was 9.7 percent in 2008, up from 8.8 percent in 2000. Still, the state's overall poverty rate was ninth lowest in the nation, and a third lower than the national rate of 13.2 percent.

Utah is 9th lowest in the nation. South Carolina ranks 10th highest in the nation. No wonder Jon could find work in Utah; not in South Carolina - even in tough economic times. An interesting comparison: South Carolina ranks 4th in the nation for unemployment rate - one of only four states reporting greater than 10%. Utah is 4th from the last (September, 2009). And they ask, "Why didn't he just stay there?" ("Let them eat cake").

Deals of the Day - Thinking Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:50:00 +0000

Some of these include free shipping - in some cases with minimum purchase but with some good deals, combining is not difficult.

$7.99 EarGrips Wrap around Kid's Fleece Ear warmers from Buy.com

$9.99 - Disney 512MB Mix Stick MP3/WMV Player (Princess Flowers) - DS17014
iLive iB109 Portable Speaker System for iPod with AM/FM Radio (Amazon.com)

Disney Mix Stick Jonas Bros 2GB MP3 Player for $19.99 (Buy.com)
I found my Flip Video on a great deal like this. Now you can get this MP3 player at a great price. So, if it's on your Christmas list, check this out at Buy.com This MP3 player is expandable to 4GB via SD card slot. Limit 5 per customerThey also have a good deal on the Samsung N120-12GW Netbook - NP-N120-KA02US $294.95 with free shipping. (Buy.com) What a deal!

Update on details

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:15:00 +0000

I spoke to my mom and she said the thieves got in through her kitchen window over her table. They pried the window lock and were able to slide it open. She chased the guy out of her house and through the back yard until he jumped over the back fence. She's one tough cookie. I'm so glad the guy didn't hurt her. He must have been left there to continue to prowl for valuables while the others took away the goods.

I was talking to Chris tonight and he said in all the time they've lived in Japan they've never known of anyone who had a car theft or really any theft. When I was there I noticed people parked their bikes in huge parking lots when they got on the train for their commute. They are not stolen, but quite safe just parked there. It's also amazing to me they can find theirs in the sea of bikes when they return at night.

Our family has had two car break-ins. Jon's was an attempted but failed theft which did lots of damage, and Ken's was stolen from his covered parking lot at work. My mom has been robbed twice and Chris was robbed when he was here in the states. My friend at work had her car stolen - twice! That's too many in my little circle. It's downright frightening. Does anyone have experience with alarm systems?

Not a good year

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:36:00 +0000

I got news last night that my mom was robbed. I haven't been able to reach her but apparently she surprised one of them and chased him off but was not physically hurt. My brother and my aunt are nearby and they have been taking care of her. I'm grateful for that. The thieves took much - almost everything removable it sounds like - computer, TV, "dish" receiver (whatever!), recorder, computer, printer, suitcase, theater tickets, personal papers (probably going for her ID too). It is absolutely sickening. Just more sad, scary news. What a world we live in. At least it was a stranger robbing her; not someone she trusted who betrayed her trust. Somehow it helps not knowing the enemy personally. I prefer to think of the bad guys being somewhere out there; not so close to home.

I recently attended a personal protection lecture at my work. The presenter (ex-cop with many years experience) said what we all know. When the economy sucks, there is more crime. The focus was on car break-ins and theft (which my family has also experienced more than once) because of our work situation, arriving and leaving in the dark, etc. We get pretty complacent about these things but in this world we need to be a little bit paranoid. You just never know when someone will target you. Undoubtedly these thieves have watched her enough to know what was there, what they wanted, and when she was away. They knew she lived alone I'm sure. An little old(er) lady seems like an easy target and if they had wanted to hurt her they could have.

She had another theft when she was not at home a few years back. They were certain it was for drugs since they took her "strong box" where she had valuables, jewelry and cleaned out her medicine cabinet. The thieves had broken through her little doggy door and the police said they often send a child in to open the door. We were heartsick about that one but this time it was even worse. I can't imagine her stress. It is upsetting to know that even in a nice, established neighborhood, in broad daylight such things are happening around us. She has deadbolts but they pried and broke the lock on the window and got in that way.

This is just heartbreaking. If you are reading this, please find ways to be more careful in your home, work and car. I need to do the same.

A FB friend said she read an article that said to keep wasp spray around - at your desk, etc. because it doesn't look like a weapon but the foam stream works like a pepper spray. Interesting idea. I picked up a few cans at the end of summer on sale. (New knick-knack for every room of the house.)

Take Me Back to the Sixties

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:12:00 +0000

My sister shared this, saying she wanted to be a teenager in the 60s rather than 70s. I was a teenager in the sixties and it's funny, I wanted to be one in the 50s. I wanted the full skirted flouncy dresses to wear to high school and the prom with sweaters tied around my neck, a scarf in my hair, and someone's class ring on a chain around my neck. We had dances; not proms and our straight-ish dresses and mini-skirts just didn't have the Cinderella-feel I was looking for. I guess "go-go" wasn't my style and I wanted to jitter-bug, but by the time I was old enough, that was OUT. I felt deprived. But, this video is pretty great for showing what it really was and I remember it all. Thanks, Cindy, for the trip down memory lane.

It's coming...

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:21:00 +0000

And to think they discovered water on the moon right at the same time....

Thought for Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:42:00 +0000

Scott G. Winterton, Deseret News Photo - click to read story

"To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless." ~ G.K. Chesterton

And, speaking of forgiveness, here is an interesting article on baptism and various faiths.

The Project

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:27:00 +0000

Dinner break in the "habitable" part of the house.
The new walls and custom-made archway (Jenn's dream; Ken's work)

Remembering Wendy on her birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:56:00 +0000

Wendy, Colleen, and Cindy
Thanks to Carolyn for sharing the B&W photo. I have never had this one and it's beautiful!

Tragedy

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:14:00 +0000

Tragic, sad...

Liz and Madi lost something more precious than money can buy. It's hard to believe that it's their mother who would cause this. Even if it is her illness speaking, someone has to defend the right of the children to have a real father, ever-present.

She lied about a job that keeps her in South Carolina. She lied about Jon and had him removed from their temporary home after six weeks - the home they were promised for 3-4 months. She brought false charges that cost so much in so many ways. When Jon had to go back to Utah so he would not have to live in a homeless shelter and where he could actually get a job, she claimed abandonment by him and managed to convince a commissioner/judge that he could have stayed in South Carolina - homeless, jobless and penniless because what little money they had was spent to get them there - because Karla believed it would make her happy. When it turned out the promises were lies and they had to go into further debt to make the move, he still did it for her. He told us "I have to do this for Karla." We all knew it was impossible with red flags popping up all over and it proved to be so. It would be impossible for Karla to stay there if it weren't for the very relatives that promised Jon housing, now providing for her. Now she also gets to collect all of Jon's income so she can live where she wants to live and where she can temporarily run away from her problems - or so she thinks as she projects her childhood abuse onto others. The girls never wanted to leave Utah and she doesn't care about them; only herself, yet she says it's "what's best for the children." How can someone defend their children when they don't have the guts to stand up to the bullying uncle when he abused her husband? In fact, she supported and encouraged him in the abuse by filing for an order of protection, guaranteeing that he could not speak to her or the children until the judge overturned it. And then, she continued to deny him access to his own daughters.

The situation is impossible. She continues to lie, her family supports her because it "makes her happy" regardless of what it does to the girls to be deprived of the access of their loving father. They believe her lies even when they know she is ill. How can anyone sit back and watch such unfairness and claim it is in the best interest of the girls? How can those around her continue to believe or excuse the lies when they cause such damage? How can we put such precious children in the hands of a stranger who takes an hour or so to decide their fate?

Any problems they had in their marriage did not warrant what she has done. You can leave a marriage without leaving a wake of disaster. The lies will catch up with her eventually. And one day the girls will realize what was stolen from them just as we realize what has been stolen from us. Karla feels she has won a battle but the scars will live on long past hers. The damage she has done even by association with the church (claiming her membership has prevented her from leaving the marriage before) will have long-lasting effects.

The only chance for some redemption for this terrible situation would be for her to return to Utah where she could obtain real employment, have real family support and help with the children and where the girls could have both of their parents permanently, even if they were not married to each other. But, that would require sacrifice on her part. It would require putting her children's needs ahead of her own and that has never happened yet. She will continue to pretend to have a job, pretend to be capable of taking full care of her children, continue to deprive them of their father because she knows his limited finances, the cost of travel and lodging in South Carolina, and she can live off the state, the uncle, and child support money - thinking this is responsible parenting. It's ironic that she accuses Jon of not supporting them because he was unemployed (along with the other 10% of the population). His real flaw was believing in her, trying to help her and thinking he could undo the damage of childhood abuse. He stood by her through thick and thin, only to be blamed for her psychological problems as she projected her childhood abuse onto him (and many others) and stepped on him like a doormat.

Any mentally healthy, loving parent would do what was necessary to give their children two loving parents and would not insist on keeping them thousands of miles away from their father and other family members they have known and loved their whole lives for their own gratification. Only someone as ill as Karla would think this was a good thing. When the employment opportunities in South Carolina proved to be nothing more than a ruse, she should allow the children to go where their father could find employment - back home in Utah. She is convincing herself and others around her but she is manipulated by those near her and she is a mere puppet. One day the relatives will have to answer for what they have done to also facilitate this abuse of the children by enabling her to manipulate and get back at Jon for divorcing her when it became clear she would no longer allow him to help her and she did the unthinkable to him. Taking him to court for false charges crossed the line of what he could or should endure at her hands. She got a free lawyer; he had to pay. She had housing in S.C.; he had none. She had food stamps and lied to social services to prevent his access to them (verified), saying he had fled the state when she knew better because he needed to stay for the court appearance two weeks later. (She lied to her father and told him the card was not working; she assumed Jon had stopped it when there is a signed statement that she did it) He looked into housing options there but with no money, there was nothing for him. Where was he to stay? What was he to eat? There was no work there. The family made up a fake job for her to tell the court; he came to Utah where he could get a real job and do as the S.C. judge suggested. She told people and convinced the commissioner that he could have stayed there. I would love to hear how that would have been possible after what her uncle did with her approval and prompting. A healthy parent would want what is best for the children and could recognize truth from lies.

Apparently it's not about who is the most fit parent, but it's still the dark ages with regards to father's rights. It's Friday the 13th.