Death and Taxes!

Kind of a dreaded day for me. Anniversary of a stillbirth and tax day all at once.

Taxes

I hate procrastinating, for the most part, but taxes.... well, this project seems to consistently slide to the bottom of my to-do list from Feb. 1 to Apr. 15. This year I was especially worried because of my consultant job. I needed to add income as an independent, self-employed contractor. Not only did this seem daunting, I was afraid it would also mean I needed to pay instead of receiving a refund. Just more excuses for putting it off as long as possible.

This year was rough. I made the same mistake I did last year because my memory didn't serve me well. I couldn't remember which online tax site I used last year, but I remembered it was a big hassle finding one that was easy to use. I couldn't find last year's return but figured it would be easy enough because of the previous year's filing online. Well, if you can't remember the site, that doesn't help. So, I went through the same crazy process the past two nights. I gave up Monday at 11:00 PM when TaxSimple crashed on me. Last night after work I tried again and still found it to be awkward. I found my 2003-2006 returns but still not the 07 (clearly I had procrastinated filing it in the "Tax" folder). So, I went to OLT (Online Taxes) which I had used in 06. I entered all my info again, but it was still cumbersome and I knew it was not the right one from last year. Finally I had a flash of memory and found my 07 taxes (in the "to file" box, which had been overrun with other stuff too).

Ta-da! It was FreeTaxUSA I finally used last year, so once I had that info I quickly entered my numbers, had it completely done and filed in 20 minutes. My goal was BEFORE midnight on the 14th but unfortunately it went at about 12:30AM on the 15th but at least it wasn't midnight TONIGHT! So, I'm blogging this to help jog my memory next year in case I lose my file again. Shouldn't because I think I learned my lesson and the hard copy is already filed in the right place! But, if my house burns down, I'll be able to access the reminder here at least! The good news! I get some money back and $19 from the State. Much better than me sending them a check!

Tip of the Day: If you're planning to do it by snail mail (or if you have to pay), post offices that will remain open late tonight are listed in the DesNews but I highly recommend eFiling (at FreeTaxUSA) with direct deposit. It was free to file and the state return was just $9.95 - what a deal for a great product!

With today being the nationwide TEA Party (Taxed enough already) people throughout the country are protesting out of control spending, taxes, national debt and too much government interference. Granted it's a conservative approach and the Republicans didn't do such a great job fixing some things, though they certainly didn't cause the mess we're in. Still, passing on this heritage of discarding morals as "old-fashioned" and debt to the ying-yang, while encouraging abortion and funding Planned Parenthood, thereby reducing our future tax payers, is irresponsible government. They're seeing the trees but not the forest, and the tax burden left for our grandchildren will be unbearable. The theme of this TEA party is "Silent Majority No More."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Still no more! And never forgotten

Unfortunately there hasn't been much progress in preventing stillbirth. About the best we can do is encourage fetal kick counting and getting regular prenatal car in hopes that some signal will occur prior to the dreaded event. Most cases, in spite of study, are still of unknown cause, especially when there is no genetic abnormality present in the baby. My son, Seth, was full-term and perfect in every way - he just didn't breathe. I do wish someone had talked to me about doing kick counts. Maybe it would have made a difference.

Stillborn

Stillbirth is generally defined as a fetal death that occurs after 20 weeks' completed gestation but before live birth. Prior to that a fetal loss is usually considered miscarriage, though late miscarriage feels very much like stillbirth when the mother gives birth to a "whole" baby.

One thing we can do is support legislation that gives parents of stillborn children rights to a birth certificate (currently a death certificate must be issued but how can there be a death if there was never a birth?). This is a tangible memento and acknowledgment that life occurred, if only in utero. What I found most difficult was the unreality of it all. Suddenly the much anticipated baby is gone, people don't want to bring it up for fear of disturbing the grieving parents, the hospital may whisk the baby away to the morgue and treat the mother as though nothing has happened. She goes home with empty arms, aching heart, and an unexplained event which results in bills to pay, burial expenses and details, with very little support. The hospital staff are much better now than they were when Seth died, but the certificate helps heal when they are available.

The liberal agenda blocks this legislation in the fear that it will interfere with "choice" for abortion proponents. If life is acknowledged, how can they justify taking of that life? Stillbirth is more common than many people realize. Each year, about 25,000 infants are stillborn in the United States— almost 10 times the number of SIDS deaths. According to the M.I.S.S. Foundation, one in 150 babies suffer this fate. I've posted a video on this blog before but if you don't want to search for it by subject matter (right sidebar) you can go here to view it.
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SIDS - Reducing the Risk

The good news is that the Back to Sleep campaign, introduced in 1994, encouraging safer sleep techniques, has reduced SIDS deaths by 50% (85% among exlusive back-sleepers). So, it doesn't solve all the problems, but it helps reduce the risk to put the baby to sleep on its back - every time! Old habits die hard so some mothers, grandmothers, childcare providers, and even nurses still do what we used to do, thinking the baby would be less likely to aspirate if positioned on their side or tummy. Now we know better and it is important to do what we can to reduce the risks. This includes always putting the baby down on a smooth, flat surface, unencumbered by blankets, toys, pillows and bumper pads. Babies die in car seats too, with blankets around the baby there are multiple risk factors so if they fall asleep in the carseat they should be taken out of the seat and placed in a crib.

A risk factor is not a cause, but it can suggest complications that might increase the likelihood of this tragic event. Risk factors do not exist in all SIDS deaths.

• Smoking by others in baby's environment (Just say "no!")
  
• Teenage mother
• Preterm baby or small size (small for gestational age)
• Wrong sleep position (other than back) - should not happen, even for naps
  
• Sleep environment concerns (too-soft sleep surface, bumper pads, pillows, loose, fluffy bedding, toys, bedsharing, lack of air circulation, overheating)
• Childcare provider or family member who does not understand this newer concept and does not place child on the back (even side position is risky because baby can slide to tummy).
  
• Overfeeding may be a risk factor, especially if placed on tummy afterward. Breastfed babies eat about every two hours at the beginning and do not take more than they need so overfeeding is not a problem there.

There is also some evidence that having a fan in the room where baby sleeps may help circulate air and allow better access to oxygen since there is suspicion that the baby is rebreathing carbon dioxide and nitrogen, with immature receptors for breathing cues. Just make sure the fan is not where the baby can get fingers into as she grows and gets mobile!

I hope these reminders will help in some small way to reduce the tragedy of infant loss and spread the word of the risks and measures that might help. Click on the post title for more information.