Fatherhood matters

With Father's Day coming soon there are some good articles about the importance of fatherhood.

Fatherhood Matters by Lindsay Maxfield is found in full at KSL.com here.

Children with involved fathers are happier, do better in school, have positive social relationships and are less likely to be involved in risky behaviors, among many other outcomes. In short, a child thrives in nearly all areas of life when a father is engaged.

When it comes to play, fathers and mothers each bring something different. While moms play games like patty cake and sing songs, dads are more likely to play physically with their children, such as bouncing, wrestling, tickling or tossing them in the air.

As children grow the play escalates, and fathers are known for encouraging their kids to take physical risks. Anthes quotes a 2007 study by NYU psychologist Catherine Tamis-LeMonda: "'In the physical motor domain, that might be one of the functions of dads -- to challenge kids a little more,' [Tamis-LeMonda] says. Together two parents may strike a nice balance, she adds, in which Mom acts as a ‘lifeguard' and Dad functions as a ‘cheerleader.'"
As a result of this encouragement, children become more open to new experiences and are better equipped to handle difficult challenges -- physical or otherwise -- all through life.

When it comes to play, fathers and mothers each bring something different. While moms play games like patty cake and sing songs, dads are more likely to play physically with their children, such as bouncing, wrestling, tickling or tossing them in the air.

As children grow the play escalates, and fathers are known for encouraging their kids to take physical risks. Anthes quotes a 2007 study by NYU psychologist Catherine Tamis-LeMonda: "'In the physical motor domain, that might be one of the functions of dads -- to challenge kids a little more,' [Tamis-LeMonda] says. Together two parents may strike a nice balance, she adds, in which Mom acts as a ‘lifeguard' and Dad functions as a ‘cheerleader.'"
As a result of this encouragement, children become more open to new experiences and are better equipped to handle difficult challenges -- physical or otherwise -- all through life.

The effects of an involved father on a child's development are far-reaching. According to a report by the Fatherhood Institute, positive father involvement is associated with better peer relationships, fewer behavioral problems, lower criminality and substance abuse, higher educational/occupational mobility, capacity for empathy, more satisfying adult partnerships, and higher self-esteem and life- satisfaction, among others.

Studies have also proven that early father involvement has a profound effect on a child's cognitive development, from better language development to higher IQs. According to Fathers Direct:

• U.S. fathers' involvement in routine childcare has been associated with children's higher school grades.
• Frequency of fathers' reading to 1- to 2-year-olds is linked with their greater interest in books later.
• A significant relationship is found between positive father engagement at age 6 and IQ and achievement at age 7.

"I honestly don't know how you can be a dad and not be involved with your kids," Bergen said. "It is such an important component in their growth and maturity. At the same time it is incredibly humbling when you realize that despite being the grownup, you don't have all the answers."

 How could a rational, intelligent, thinking, caring mother ever interfere with this?

Another article stressing fathers and the damage of their absence is in the Deseret News today.  A few points from the article:

One-third of American children are growing up without their biological father, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. In the past 50 years, the percentage of children who live with two married parents has dropped 22 points. During that same time, the number of babies born to unwed mothers jumped from 5 percent to 40 percent.
The growing trend of father absence could have grave implications for society, researchers say, because having dad around has been linked to important developments in a child's physical, emotional and behavioral health. At the same time, though, research indicates it's not enough just to have a male figure in the home.
Several leading sociologists have labeled father absence "the most pressing issue facing America today." Alarmed by growing evidence of the importance of fatherhood, President Barack Obama, who was raised by a single mother, has forcefully pleaded with fathers to step up throughout his presidency... The move away from marriage is a result of a bigger shift in American values that Hawkins calls a loss of "child centeredness." At one time, society expected adults to make decisions based largely on what was best for the children.  

"Most fathers care about their children," said Victor Nelson, a marriage and family therapist from Logan. "They've given up on making things work with the mother, but most want to figure out some sort of solution for their kids."

But even if fathers keep in touch after a breakup, children suffer, said Nelson, who specializes in helping couples make co-parenting plans after a relationship has gone south.
"The bottom line is, kids really need frequent contact with both parents to successfully navigate developmental stages as they grow up," he said.

For girls, living in a father-absent home has physical consequences. Without a father, said Erin Holmes, an assistant professor in BYU's School of Family Life, girls tend to go through puberty sooner. A recent study by three U.S. universities found the earlier a father left, the greater risk a girl was at for getting pregnant as a teen. 

Fatherlessness is also associated with eating disorders and depression, Holmes said.
"It could be these girls are trying to fill an emotional void," Holmes said. "We don't know. What we do know, though, is that not having dad around can be devastating."

Judges also need to step up and recognize this and take an active role when mothers do all they can to keep the fathers away from their children.  Mothers also need to see it and put their children's needs ahead of their own desires.   See Parental Alienation Syndrome.