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Monday, December 13, 2010

On the 1st day of Christmas...

My FB friends shared with me...

The Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah - There is a story told (perhaps apocryphally) about this chorus that Handel's assistant walked in to Handel's room after shouting to him for several minutes with no response. The assistant reportedly found Handel in tears, and when asked what was wrong, Handel held up the score to this movement and said, "I thought I saw the face of God."

Good News!  I'm better AND I won a drawing for Kneader's (my favorite!)

And for a laugh:
INSTALLING A HUSBAND 

Dear Tech Support,   

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 , and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0 NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. 

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3  to fix these problems, but to no avail..   

What can I do? 

Signed,
Desperate

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Desperate, 

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.   

Please enter command:   ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download  Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the  Guilt 3.0 update.  If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .  Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta .    

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install  Mother-In-Law 1.0  (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).   

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7...

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