Thoughts for the day

From an article I read today, "one’s REAL father can never be replaced with a step father. Regardless of how wonderful their mother is, children always long for their father."  Amen! More here on equal parenting.

On marriage, Linda and Richard Eyre said, "Marriage is about synergy and synchronicity and symbiosis. It is about making each other better and making each other happier. It is more about always making up than about never disagreeing, and it is more about learning together and from each other than about who can win."  I agree - there is no room in the bed for competition.

When you feel persecuted or offended, say to yourself, "it's not all about me!"  People really are not all focusing on you!  They have their own lives, thoughts, feelings and opinions.  If they say it or write about it, it's probably about them and to think it to be otherwise is often paranoid delusion!  Also, people aren't all talking about you - they are busy with their lives and as I heard Helen Keller quoted, "we wouldn't worry so much about what people think of us if we knew how seldom they do it."  If the shoe fits...


For women's history month:  A few thoughts by Eleanor Roosevelt (very timely for me):

• "You can never really live anyone else's life, not even your child's. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you've become yourself."

• "Happiness is not a goal; it's a by-product"

• "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

• You must do the things you think you cannot do." 
• "You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give."

"Rather than simply passing through trials, we must allow trials to pass through us in ways that sanctify us." Elder Neil A. Maxwell

 When Your Hut Is On Fire!
 
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited  island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he  scanned the horizon for help but none seemed forthcoming.

 Even though he was exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little  hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his  few possessions.
 
One day he arrived home from scavenging for food to find his little hut  in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had  happened and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?"

 Early the next day he awakened to the sound of a ship approaching the  island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?"  asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," was  the reply.

The moral of this story: It is easy to get discouraged when things are  going bad but we should never lose heart because God is at work in our  lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember the next  time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground that it just may  be the smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

What's wrong with this picture?

Sad tale...

Ah, life before the S. C. disaster when we actually had some money to shop. This past year my son had created a small Christmas account for the kids at $20/paycheck and he was so excited to actually have some money to use now since he only gets to take home $3/hour after child support, but ORS nabbed it and apparently sent it to STBX. Her lawyer convinced the court to hold him in contempt for the back child support prior to the court appearance. Now there's no money at all, even to bring them here. It's the most tragic thing I have ever seen. That the children would be deprived of their father in this way because it is good for her is beyond belief. Here Jon has been faithfully working, providing the only income they have out there (besides the welfare) and he can't even see his kids or buy them gifts.

Now they get to travel to Virginia for Thanksgiving in her new-to-her van instead of coming to Utah (his turn).

Meanwhile she tells the kids he could come there whenever he wants (never mind he can't afford travel, hotel, rental car and time off work while she drags him back to court for ongoing legal expenses and he is actually working - retail - no time off for travel and no vacation pay). He is the only one in that family who is working and yet she tells the kids they could come to Utah if their dad pays their way (at ridiculous prices due to holiday fares and location - not an inexpensive destination). So, it looks to them like he doesn't want them. Yet, he is the hard-working, loving and devoted parent who doesn't want to rely on welfare for livelihood and is willing to use more money in gas to get to work than he can bring home after child support payments (for the children he doesn't get to see).

Oh, and he can Skype twice a week for 30 minutes (two hour time difference and work schedules only allow one or two of the ordered three). Never mind that the connection there is so poor we can only see vague images of the children and must use the cell phone for sound.

One day they will be old enough to learn the truth. An attorney recently told my friend that his situation was similar. When he grew up and learned his mother had manipulated, she was the the one he resented and much worse than he had resented the absent father previously. This is the second story of this type that has been relayed to me after people heard of his dilemma.

This is abuse!