Family Lines - Welcome to my blog!

This is where I share RANDOM rants and ruminations, beliefs, lists, dreams, goals, frustrations, bargains, and social injustices (EVAGATION, n. the act of wandering; excursion; a roving or rambling). More about me than you wanted to know. You may not agree with me but I hope you share my belief that what makes America great is freedom to have and express differing views. Enjoy peeking into my public journal if you want to know that part of me I share here. Enjoy!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Abuse and mental illness

Ken shared this story from KSL about a woman who suffered serious sexual abuse/incest and how her daughter has survived and thrived in spite of her mother's serious illness. The mother actually succeeded in not perpetuating the abuse against all odds, but her daughter actually had to take care of her and her younger sibs. Worth reading. Mother Had a Secret

1 comment:

Step-MomMarch 5, 2011 at 10:45 AM
14 different personalities! Wow! I am very impressed that the mother and daughter both did everything in their power to stop the cycle from continuing. It says a lot about both of them. It takes a strong person not to let the violence or trauma continue.

It's sad that the daughter had to grow up so quickly, but it seems like she doesn't blame her mother for anything.

She is very brave for sharing her story and I'm sure it was therapeutic for her. Sometimes the best way to feel better is to vent.
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Who I am...

I'm "Dr. Mom," "Dex," "Merry Maid" (or Jetson's "Rosie"), "Betty Crocker," "Nurse Nancy," "Mom's B&B," "Miller Moving & Storage," "Dear Abby," "Got Junk?" "Google Maps," "Wiki-mom," "Memory Keeper" or "The Nanny" depending on who needs me at the moment. I'm a Mormon mom and grandma (traditional but sometimes unconventional). I like the new term for us boomer grandmas (glam-mother) because we have spent our whole lives redefining rules and stereotypes. WYSIWYG! I must have chocolate every day and I can say the alphabet backwards (fast!) - so can all my kids - our claim to fame!

Fundamental Principles of Our Religion

"The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it. But in connection with these, we believe in the gift of the Holy Ghost, the power of faith, the enjoyment of the spiritual gifts according to the will of God, the restoration of the house of Israel, and the final triumph of truth" (Teachings: Joseph Smith, 2007, 45-50).

We don't spend our twenties trying to "find" ourselves....we know who we are. This gives us a jump-start on life!

Interesting words I like

Dulcet - adj. A sound or voice so gorgeous you just have to listen to it again and again no matter what. So recognizable that even the faintest hint of it in the distance can send your mind reeling. "I wish i could speak to her again just to hear those dulcet tones - Urban Dictionary... and the more traditional definition: 1, pleasant to the ear; melodious. 2. pleasant or agreeable to the eye or the feelings; soothing.
Quotidian - adj. usual or customary; everyday: quotidian needs.
Enthrall - transitive verb - to hold spellbound
enamor v. to inflame with love —usually used in the passive with of 2 : to cause to feel a strong or excessive interest or fascination
ecotistical adj. feeling self-important due to conservationist ecological practices
Mensch n. (Yiddish) a person with whom you would be happy to befriend and associate
Acte gratuit n. gratuitous, impulsive act
Evagation n. the act of wandering; excursion; a roving or rambling
Corpus (pl:corpora) n. the Latin word meaning a body or collection of writings used for analysis

Worth Quoting

"Care about people; not just FOR people and don't let issues get in the way of relationships." Pamela Atkinson

"Whoever is happy will make others happy too." ~ Anne Frank

"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples money" ~ Margaret Thatcher

"When the people fear the government, there is tyranny, when the government fears the people, there is liberty"~Thomas Jefferson

"When everything goes well, don't be frightened; it won't last."~Jules Renard

"Any people anywhere, being inclined and having the power, have the right to rise up, and shake off the existing government, and form a new one that suits them better. This is a most valuable - a most sacred right - a right, which we hope and believe, is to liberate the world."~ Abraham Lincoln

"Feelings are like spring breezes that pass through one's day. The chill they bring won't last forever." ~ Karen Dougherty

"So much of making a marriage work is just about common sense. If something is important to your wife, you have to make it important to you too. My wife has plenty of interests that I wouldn't care less about if she weren't involved, so I get dragged into doing all kinds of things. But I realize that just makes me a better, more well-rounded person." ~ Jay Leno

Attitudes are contagious - are yours worth catching? (Anon)

"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our disposition and not on our circumstances." ~ Martha Washington

"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." ~ Ronald Reagan

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

"The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict"-Martin Luther King Jr

Please don't tell Obama what comes after trillion ~ bumper sticker I saw at work

“Marriages that are apparently intact are not necessarily good marriages. Sticking together doesn’t necessarily mean you are happily married.” ~ Ben Fletcher

John Adams achieved true greatness as an eloquent, stubborn advocate of independence ... “Thanks to God that he gave me stubbornness when I know I am right. ...

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." ~ Bill Cosby

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home." ~Bill Cosby

"Everyone is nice until you get to know them" ~ anon

"Anger doesn't solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything." (Shared by Sheila)

We live in a strange society. The Bible says that debt is a curse and children are a blessing. But we apply for a curse and reject blessings. ~ Doug Philips

"The whole purpose of our earthly education is to start looking outside of ourselves." ~ Kristen Oaks

"Be open and honest. If you are unhappy, let your spouse know it. Remember that a good argument is better than no argument at all. If people were open and honest with their spouses, fifty percent of divorces could be avoided." ~ Bernard Rinella

"Small moments? It's often those little gestures — a knowing look, a pat on the back, an unexpected kindness — that make a big impression and shape our favorite memories." ~ Tim Russert

"Parents are not interested in Justice....They want Quiet!" - Bill Cosby.

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Attributed to Jay Leno (but perhaps some alteration according to my source)

"Remember the Ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors." ~ Abigail Adams, March 1776

"We mortals can't know the end from the beginning, so what matters is that we keep setting our feet on good paths and staying with them." ~ Orson Scott Card

"While divorce destroys about five in ten marriages, many of those couples who stay married settle into the emotional emptiness of marital mediocrity, creating what is called a 'parallel marriage.' Couples in parallel marriages may share a house and a life but they don't share their hearts." - Laura Brotherson (And They Were Not Ashamed)

"There can be no high civility without a deep morality." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Being particular is pickiness with purpose." (Quoted by Don Osmond, nephew to Donny, said by friend of his)

"Our lives are like a river, and when we look back, we can see the experiences we’ve had that prepared and led us in a certain direction though we did not know at the time where it was leading us." ~ Art Pollard, Amano Chocolate

“I know in whom I have trusted” ( 2 Nephi 4:19)

"How can you have too many children? That's like saying there are too many flowers," ~ Mother Teresa.

"...but if not..." ~ Dennis L. Simmons, LDS General Conference, April, 2004.

"It is only work if you'd rather be doing something else." - Nancy Long (creator of Gardner Village)

"When I was a young mother...oh so long ago, I mistakenly thought that motherhood was like a real job, when after years of faithful service, I would be lauded by my colleagues, given a gold watch or necklace as a token of appreciation, and then retire... to live out my days in peaceful bliss. No worries. Hakuna Matata" ~ MormonMommyBlog

"A life that is not documented is a life that within a generation or two will largely be lost to memory."

~ Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander

"Man does not live by bread alone" ~ sign at Kneaders Specialty bread and sandwich cafe

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there." ~ Will Rogers (the original; not the rip-off Utah attorney who has a "d" in his name)

"Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't be mean about it when you say it." ~anonymous

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." ~Sir Walter Scott

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." ~ -Jeffrey R. Holland

“ A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (Prov. 15:1)

“Cease from anger, and forsake wrath.” (Psalms 37:8)

"When life gets too hard to stand, just keep on rollin' " ~ Meg Johnson, Ms Wheelchair Utah

"Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?' Vanity asks the question, 'Is it popular?' But, conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because one's conscience tells one that it is right." Martin Luther King Jr.

"Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!" -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

“People with a scarcity mentality tend to see everything in terms of win-lose. There is only so much; and if someone else has it, that means there will be less for me. The more principle-centered we become, the more we develop an abundance mentality, the more we are genuinely happy for the successes, well-being, achievements, recognition, and good fortune of other people. We believe their success adds to...rather than detracts from...our lives.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. ~ Serenity prayer

To err is human; to not err is better. (?)

"Divorce is almost always the result of emotional, physical and spiritual bankruptcy" ~ Dr. Elia Gourgouris

"If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." ~ Thomas A. Edison

"We’re just kids trying to spell the word “God” with all the wrong blocks." ~ E.A. Robinson

"Our American coins don’t say “In God We Believe.” They say, 'In God We Trust.' Maybe instead of saving and spending our money, we should spend more time reading it." ~ Jerry Johnston

Get mad. Then get over it.” ~Colin Powell

Each evening, share with one another three happy things that you noticed during the day. Talk about why these moments of happiness occurred. ~ Sheri & Bob Stritof, on marriage.

‎'Evil does not exist, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.' ~ Albert Einstein

Four C's for marriage = "compliment (one another), comfort and compromise." ~ Stacy Kaiser (author of How to be a Grownup)

President Spencer W. Kimball gave this counsel: “Every person should keep a journal and every person can keep a journal. It should be an enlightening one and should bring great blessings and happiness to the families. If there is anyone here who isn’t doing so, will you repent today and change—change your life?” (Conference Report, Apr. 1979, p. 117/Ensign, May 1979, p. 84).

"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change." --Stephen Hawking

"We should not confuse normal human clumsiness with maliciousness." ~ Wallace Goddard

"To be able to live with their own bad choices they have to alleviate the guilt by making it appear that they had no choice. All their bad choices are made based on some wrong you did them...in their head, anyway." ~ Cathy Meyer

"Never in my life did I ever think I would find my one true love... she brightens my life more than the sun and makes me cherish everyday I wake up next to a beautiful angel...." ~ Josh (FB Friend)

"People with kids long for quiet houses. That's foolishness, in my opinion. Children's laughter is like music to me." ~ Gary Ceran

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have" ~ (unknown - posted on FB by my cousin, Ashley)

"Do not waste your time contemplating contempt or the pain caused by others but move forward enjoying what is crucial to your happiness." ~ Melody Pope

Lately it feels like so many are seeking to go contrary to tradition as a matter of principle. (It’s a tradition? Then it must be questioned, stopped or condemned!) ~ Kristen Flandro

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." ~ Reinhold Niebuhr

Favorite Hymns

Abide With Me
All Creatures of Our God and King
Amazing Grace
Be Still My Soul (my # 1)
Because I Have Been Given Much
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
How Firm a Foundation
How Gentle God's Commands
How Great Thou Art
I Believe in Christ
I Need Thee Every Hour
I Stand All Amazed
If You Could Hie to Kolob
Lead Kindly Light
Let the Holy Spirit Guide
Love One Another
More Holiness Give Me
Teach Me to Walk in the Light
The Spirit of God Like a Fire
We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet
Where Can I Turn for Peace?

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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Abuse and mental illness

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